Sometimes life makes me feel so broken, but not always in a bad way; more like broken wide open ready to feel it all; wanting to miss my Nonny and her homemade spaghetti and the crappy linoleum floor she had in her 1960s kitchen with loose cabinet knobs that looked like the inside of an abalone shell; missing the way she loved me so much I felt like I could do anything. I know that love doesn’t really come from that slimey pumping organ off-centered in your chest, but sometimes I feel like my center, where it is, might actually burst when I see things like Avalon loving her dad and grandparents and swing-set and it feels so good to know that, that love has a place to go.
I love surfing and writing because they let me figure things out and then set them free. Sometimes when I’m surfing, I feel like I get to open my heart like a garage door and dump everything out and then shut it, keeping only the things I need behind.
My relationships with some of the best people I know grew in the saltwater. Those people, Scott and his laugh and smile and his 'I''ll give you a wave nature', my Dad and his calm methodicalness, the way he expresses himself so freely on his board in the water, Roberta and her eagerness to learn and know, Alison and her graceful wisdom, Kevin and his determinedness and ever-stoke, Todd and his constant surf buzz, George and his kind eyes, Dave Dorosko and how all you ever know about him is that he will surprise the shit out of you and make you laugh, Hayden Ball and how he seems stoned even when he's sober and how he makes up his own phrases like "What a pull!" and "What an ice" and you can't stop saying them. Just like the waves, these people lift me up.