Thursday, April 14, 2016

Dear Sprout,



Dear Avalon,

I miss you when you’re sleeping. I’m gonna be honest, I’m totally glad you sleep well because it helps all of us be better, but I miss kissing your cheeks and the way you buzz your lips when you’re examining something new. I love the way you dance, shaking your tiny butt to Taylor Swift. I love the way you scream-laugh when I kiss your tummy or push you on the swing. I love how you’re always making noise.


I have more to do than I ever have time for in our days, but these days give me more than all the rest I’ve ever had.

Aunt Maddie and Nonny are visiting us today. Auntie Maddie told me she noticed a seashell under the heater in the hall when she was sitting on the toilet. I laughed and said I noticed it too, but neither of us picked it up. I didn’t get it because I noticed there was also dust under there and if I got the shell I would’ve had to clean that dust and all the dust that’s other places. I feel so sleepy and unproductive somedays, most days, even though I’m pretty sure I’m constantly working; working on something. But still, there’s always dust somewhere; sometimes there’s dust everywhere.


This afternoon when I tried to work on this letter while you were awake, you climbed inside of the bar stool, then tried to play the ukulele, then crawled over to me and held onto my leg, tapping it it with your palm until I stopped to play with you.

I cried last week telling Dada that I worried you liked me the most you ever would right now and that slowly, slowly you would grow away from me. I don’t know why I think this. I’ve only grown closer to my mom, your Nonny. I know she won’t ever be perfect. She pulled my hair once when I said something sassy and she wouldn’t take me to Costco once because of the way I had styled my hair, but she tries every minute to be her best for me and for those that love her, and for herself too because she respects who she is. She is the mom I’m always 
trying to be.

You get so excited when we get home. You kick your legs and sometimes squeal and it makes me happy not just that you love the home we’ve made for you, but because it means you are happy with little: me, dada, the tiny kitchen, your room that used to be a garage, that broken fireplace you’ve always had an affinity for.

When you wake up from your naps, your eyes are still in your dreams, but more happy about what’s in front of you and your hair is stuck to your face. You scratch your tummy sometimes and point at things and smile.

Isn’t it wild that I’m the keeper of these memories for you? And isn’t it crazy that some days I still wonder if I’m doing important work?

14 comments:

  1. It only gets better!! And she will only grow deeper in love with you! My little girl just turned 15 months and she gives the sweetest kisses where she holds your cheeks and gives a big MUAH on your lips...the best!!
    I love reading your blog! Thanks for sharing it all with us! You seem to be a great Momma and have an amazing family :))

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    1. Margaret, thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear, even though on some level I know that it's true that it only gets better. I love the story about your daughter! Thank you for sharing it!

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  2. Oh my, Devon; how is your beautiful baby so big already?! Thanks for sharing these sweet observations with us - you have such a way with words xx

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    1. I know, right? She's 9 months old! As long as I was pregnant with her (which seemed like forever). Thank you Laura. Your little notes always make me feel so good. I hope you've been doing well!

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  3. beautiful writing again Devon=) xoxo

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    1. Thank you Olivia! *virtual hug* :)

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  4. Your daughter sounds so much like my son, I love it! This is such a fun age!!!

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    1. Wish they could be friends! I agree, it is fun!

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  5. Ahh this is so good. That last line just got me. I'm so glad we have our girls.

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  6. What a gorgeous post, you've reminded me how adorable babies are at that age. I was just wondering how you were earlier today. Guessing you were busy every single second, as is always the way with little people and their daylong busy-ness. Leave the dust for now, get it next year, you'll save yourself lots of time. Make it all as simple and easy as you can. I'm laughing that your mom didn't take you to Costco because of something you'd done to your hair. Can't imagine what. I think you will always be Avalon's rock, the person she turns to when she needs someone and the person she runs to when she has good news to share. And of course you will always be completely understanding when she does wild things to her hair. Wishing you guys a good weekend. CJ xx

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    1. Haha! Yes, in theory, I will always be understanding as a mother :). I will definitely take notes from you as to how to do so many wonderful adventures and take in moments big and small. Thank for this note (and all your notes). You always say just the thing I need to hear. <3

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  7. Devon, There's just something about the warmth and love you have for your family that pours off the page. Thank you for sharing your stories and pictures!
    ...And I was flipping through your Peru Diaries posts from a few years ago and LOVED them...Scott's note was possibly the sweetest thing I've ever read. :) (P.S. My solo trip in NZ - I took my husband's tee-shirt. Closest thing to having a hug I could think of!)

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  8. Such a heartwarming and smile-inducing post, my friend :) I am so happy for your new chapter in life :)

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