Friday, February 5, 2016

Dark Luck, White Paint

I've been getting back into skateboarding lately. Avalon hates it so far, so she doesn't really come and watch. The other day I tried to sit her on a quilt in a soft grassy area next to the skate bowl with some toys she hadn't seen in a while so I could practice a few kick-turns. She was unmistakably distraught. Scott held her one evening while I skated the back pool and each time I did a turn she cried on cue like a metronome. 

I only have this one picture of me skating because I can't imagine how embarrassing it would feel to be the most mediocre, most documented skater at the park. One night this week I went to skate after Avalon was in bed. The sky was so dark, but the whole park was lit up. You could see everyone's breath. 

Maybe the thing I like most about skateboarding is how it brings people of all different ages and backgrounds together. Nah, who am I kidding? The thing I like most about skating is the rush; how even if a bunch of people are standing around watching you flap your arms for no effective reason and maybe your butt crack is showing, all you can think about is going faster and higher. I also like how everyone is presented with the same medium and no one uses it the same way. Dave says he hates being asked why he likes skateboarding because he finds it as hard to answer as the question "What's your favorite color?" He did tell me that with skating he just wants to slurp up the surrounding and do like eight tricks in a row. "It's without rules. There are so many choices. I mean, really your canvas is more limited with surfing and snowboarding, but with skateboarding there is so much freedom....Surf videos are always blue, snowboard videos are always white. Not skate videos." I've thought about that every day since. I also started thinking how I don't have one favorite color anymore.

A few kind of terrible things happened this week. I didn't start off this story by listing them off because they aren't at the front of my mind like they maybe should be. I'm just not finding time to be sad these days. One of my podcasts reported this week that depression isn't sexy and I laughed; how true. I'm enjoying Avalon so much I don't even miss surfing most days. I never go to bed before eleven, so at seven when she wakes up, I am usually still exhausted, but the second I hear her I can't wait to hold her. It always seems like it's been too long.

Bad thing number one that happened this week: The top of our 50 foot canary palm blew off and landed directly on the mirror of a Jetta and our white picket fence. That could have been a lot worse though. When I think about how Avalon and I were sitting in the very spot it fell last week, I just kind of nod up at the sky and swallow hard. 

Bad thing number two: My middle sister and her boyfriend broke up.

Bad thing number three: Our family boat sank Sunday in the storm. We've had that boat since I was nine.

I want to write more about the boat and what it's meant in my family's life, but I'm just not ready to yet. Maybe I'm not ready to say goodbye.

I decided to redo our bedroom instead. My mom gave us a white quilt and shams that she didn't need anymore and I decided that even though there was nothing wrong with the way our bedroom was, we needed a change. I wanted it to be lighter in there, and simpler. I went on an absolute tear one day and took out all the scattered seashells except for one, then re-painted the bench at the foot of the bed blue and the back wall white. Then I swapped out Scott's nightstand, repositioned the bookshelf in the main living room and sewed curtains for the bottom shelf out of a drop cloth I once used as a tablecloth at Friendsgiving.I had to cut the curtains around pictures of obscene things that my friends (Stephanie) drew in sharpie after a few glasses of wine. I ordered a linen duvet cover in "flax" for the comforter. 

Scott's general approach to renovations is more like: Slow and steady, quality over quantity. Mine is some sort of ripoff of the Nike slogan: you don't have to be a psycho about it, just do it.

The podcast I was listening to during all of this also reported the following quote, which I wrote down in my journal immediately:

"If you have dark luck, then your job is to find some glimmer in it" ~Edna O'Brien 


  1. You've made a brilliant job of your room, and I absolutely love how you've used things you already had or that you were given. The best kind of eco-decorating. It's nice to declutter a little sometimes isn't it. Your succulent plants are gorgeous. You have a beautifully light touch in your home, it always looks like a very restful place to be. Sorry about your bad things. Will the palm regrow from the stump? It's good that no-one was hurt. Such a shame about your boat. I would like to hear a little more about her one day, you tell your memories so well. A little sad sea news here this week. Six sperm whales have beached on English beaches and died. And apparently a total of 29 have died in Europe in the past two weeks. They really are magnificent creatures. About 30 tonnes. The latest one was still alive for a while, it really is a distressing thing to see. No-one knows why it's happening. I can't help thinking it's something caused by man. Sorry, don't mean to be a downer. Lovely photos of the sea, and Avalon in your backyard - it looks like a summer's day to me. I hope you all have a good weekend. CJ xx

  2. I'm so in love with your pictures and your house and your writing. I'm so sorry so many awful things have happened for you lately. It's been that way over here, too. It'll get better for both of us. I know it will. That is so sad about your family boat. That has to be devastating.

  3. I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult things you are facing right now. When you're ready to share about your family boat, you know we'll be here to listen.

    I love to see the the work you've been doing in your room. It definitely looks so airy! We have a white quilt and shams and I love how it brightens the room. :)

  4. Ahh... that is so sad about the boat. :( :( :(

  5. I would really prefer to be controlled by extra related to your girlfriend someday, everyone reveal to an individual's memory which means that good. A bit of gloomy coast current information at this point the 7-day period. Five semen whales own beached regarding English language beach streets together with was killed. Together with it seems that an overall total for twenty nine own was killed during Western world in earlier times couple of weeks. They really are breathtaking bugs. Related to 33 tonnes.


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