Thursday, April 30, 2015

Outgrowing Peter Pan

On the eve of my seventh birthday my mom sat on the edge of my bed wondering if I was excited for a day sure to be spent drunk off stale candy at the local Rocky and Bullwinkle Arcade and Fun Zone. Instead of using aging as some kind of leverage for getting to stay up later or for riding shotgun in carpool, I started crying because I knew "I would never be six again.

I'm sure my mom was hoping as I got older that I would outgrow rubbing my boogers on the legs of her dining room chairs and making homes for my troll dolls in her dryer, but now she had something more unusual to wish for me to outgrow: Peter Pan Syndrome. 

On the eve of my 30th birthday I was busy in the backyard putting sunflowers into vases and approving the height of twinkle lights before 50 people would be over the next day. I stayed up until 11:30 so I could paint a small wooden house we constructed for a new family member who would need me all of the time for as long as I could currently imagine. That week we had been to a funeral for a co-worker. That week a friend who seemed endless took her last breath in a battle against a cancer that wouldn't waver.

If someone had pointed out that it was the last night of my 20s, I probably wouldn't have been stoked, but I knew it was anyways, I just couldn't mourn numbers anymore. 

I don't know exactly what my life is for. I don't know why some people don't get as much time to live theirs as we think they deserve. I don't think wrinkles and grey hair look regal or bold or sexy yet. I don't want Scott to go bald, but I also know that to worry about any of that isn't the point either. I guess there comes a time when you just have to outgrow living your own clichés.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Vegetarian Snacks and Meal Ideas (for pregnancy or not)

strawberry, mango, banana, spinach, apple juice smoothie
edamame, kale, cabbage and mushrooms sautéed with sesame seeds and soy sauce over brown rice
crackers with avocado, lime, sea salt and cracked pepper with tropical drinks
mango sorbet with cacao chips 
homemade margarita pizza with whole grain crust
open-face toasted pb & raspberry j sandwich and strawberry, banana, kale smoothie
fresh coconut
loaded baked potato 
more strawberry smoothies with coconut milk, flax seeds, banana and mango
quinoa pasta with spinach, carrots, cherry tomatoes, artichoke hearts and lentils
I hope you all had a nice weekend. It rained and even poured on my birthday/baby shower/luau party. First time all year that it's rained like that during the day. Everyone said it was good luck. I said I thought that only applied to weddings. Either way, it was fun and I have some stories to tell you soon. Until then, above are some meals from the past few weeks I thought I'd share.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Dear Sprout,

Dear Sprout,

The other morning we went to the beach before anyone was awake. Out in the water I could smell burning toast. 

You were moving around as we rode waves and I cheered for you and the wave that was carrying us. When we were sitting waiting for other ones, I pictured you learning to swim someday and I imagined me looking at your face and telling you that you already knew how to swim once because you swam around my tummy, you'd just have to remember how.

We also spent some time looking at the sky thinking about Maureen and asking her questions like "Was it always going to be this way?". 

We changed up the whole backyard. Some friends are coming over this weekend to help me celebrate you and my birthday, although I'm aiming for the focus to be on you. We have a new fence that's so white you have to wear sun glasses just to look at it. We planted some new trees in front of it to cut down on the glare and placed the stumps from the pine tree that had to be cut down in a little seating arrangement. I picture you climbing them someday. Your Poppy says the yard is yours because we wouldn't have been as motivated to do the work if it wasn't for you. 

Everyone tells me "good luck with your new baby" and sometimes I think, I guess that's all they can say, but I think we'll figure it out. I guess that's all I can say too.

When we get out of the ocean, I tell you it's ok to leave even when you still want more. I think Maureen feels that now too. And when we get home we burn some toast too. 

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Sprout's Bookshelf Re-Do {Making a Gender Neutral Nursery}

In December I had my eyes on a dresser for Sprout from the same store where we got this bookshelf thats original color made me think of cavities. 

When I would close my eyes during the first trimester of this pregnancy and ignore my crazy-side that flashed on our first experience with the mean midwife and miscarriage percentages, I knew that Sprout was fine. It was just scary to love something so much. To help myself focus on the fact that a tiny, kidney bean sized baby would grow and thrive, I would sometimes wander through warm home decor stores in the evenings around Christmas time when I was supposed to be finishing gifts and packing for trips to see family. That's when I found the perfect dresser for Sprout. I just didn't have a place to put it yet. 

When the dresser was still there last week I knew I had to finally give it a home. I'll share some pictures of it later once we finish the room, but here are some photos of a bonus item Scott found at the same place: a funky little shelf filled with spiders that needed a home. 

I don't know if I'm proud of the fact that retail therapy kinda works on me, but it's at least the truth. Having a creative outlet like renovating and decorating our garage turned nursery has helped with lingering anxiety during my first pregnancy too. 

We took the shelf home for $10, sanded the cracks and repainted it with Debi's non-toxic DIY Paint. I used Mermaid's Tail (appropriate) and Mint Chip to refinish it and also added a little green acrylic paint I mixed at home to accent the framing. 

I started by adding a coat of the darker Mermaid's Tail paint to a few places on top of the already existing colors first. After I allowed it to dry, I painted over that coat with the lighter Mint Chip paint. Because this DIY paint is highly pigmented, you can paint pastel colors over darker colors. Then I used a damp rag to rub off the top layer of paint in certain places so the previous layers would be revealed and the shelf would look distressed. The whole project cost about $25. 

Sproutie, I hope you like it. I still have some more items to add to the shelves for you! 

p.s. thank you all for your kind words about Maureen.