Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A Look Back at 2014

I was already thinking early in November how I'd only be writing '2014' a handful of other times. I've never wanted time to speed up before, and thoughts like that would usually make me feel a sense of longing for moments like watching my friends eat hotdogs on the 4th of July at ten at night in San Francisco and celebrating one of the last birthdays of my twenties with my mom and dad in the rain at the outlet mall, but once we found out about our baby I was ok with those things being in the past. They were never going to be anywhere else anyways, so I may as well let them live there in peace. This year, for the first time ever, I wanted time to carry on so I could be six weeks pregnant and then eight and now almost fifteen. It seemed safer for this new little being we're falling in love with if time passed. I'm sure next year I'll be back to longing for things to seem as still and slow as they are capable of being. 

The eve of the New Year is often a time when we try to think about what we've done, what else we'd like to do, how else we'd like to be, maybe where else we'd like to be. All I can think about right now is how disastrously messy our garage is and how someway we'll need to convert part of it into a safe dwelling for a baby who we don't even know what we'll call yet. I'm also wondering if having a sip of champagne tonight will put me in just the right state of mind for the ball drop, or send me into an anxiety attack because last week my baby app said something about intestines developing and how delicate and transparent they are. Even when life is about big, amazing things there are still so many little details our minds draw focus to. 

With these yearly recaps, and blogging in general, I guess my goal is to try to pay attention to both. Here are some highlights from this year.


January. We went to Alaska and the sun was only up for four hours a day. Actually, it was never really up, just sort of hanging out in the middle and then hiding behind glaciers and ghost trees and prairies all the rest of the time. Danielle broke her arm snowboarding and we all tried snowshoeing and 'flightseeing' for the first time. When we got home, I addressed some questions I got about whether or not you can teach yourself to surf


February. I had no idea I'd be pregnant by the end of the year, but I was already freaking out about it. I had a girl at the blow-dry bar tell me that maybe my endeavors in skateboarding were some kind of pre-baby life crisis. Scott agreed. I also took some pictures on my train commute where my mind almost always seems to be at ease. Some of you were wondering how to become a sponsored surfer, so I tried to answer that as best I could. 


March. The sun doesn't stick around for long during the winter, so I think it tries to show off while it's here because winter sunsets are the best ones of the year. I wrote something about being afraid of babies and writing books and made a little surf movie showcasing some of the abnormally warm weather we had for this time of year.


April. ate dinner with a psychic who told me I would write a book someday. We celebrated Scott's birthday in Mexico with Basia and Phil and filmed for a surf movie Phil's putting together now. We drank tequila and made guacamole and I even got Basia to try kale! When we got home, I wrote down some thoughts about my birthday


May. Parts of San Diego were on fire due to a non-existent rainy season. We went on a road trip with Kristen to Carmel for a wedding and took advantage of the hot weather by going to Catalina with my sisters' new boyfriends. I wrote a little Catalina guide and shared it here in case you were looking to visit too. I also made a video addressing some questions about surf equipment


June. After 23 years of school, Scott had his last day. He gave a speech to a hundred 5th graders while his mom and I cried all over our programs. Looking back, it might seem planned that Scott quit his job right before we started a family, but that would all just be how it seemed. In reality, he was ready to move on from teaching P.E., and even though I was panicking on-the-daily about the big life changes a baby would bring, I was starting to be ready too. I tried to let the words "How wild it was just to let it be" from the book Wild stay in my head every day.


July. Scott and I drove to Oregon and back. We bought parcheesi for $1 at a thrift shop outside of Seaside and played every night while I drank sweet Moscato wine and tried not to pout about losing. We put together a little list of things we liked in Portland, then had the opportunity to share more about the trip for Travel Oregon and Surfgirl. If you'd like to share some of your writing and experiences, my advice is just to ask and be persistent. I've had a bunch of my emails ignored, but sometimes you get through.


August. I had the opportunity to interview my long-time surf friend Crystal about what it's like to be a hearing-impaired surfer. I also felt like my ego was getting out of control and wrote more about being afraid of babies, but this time I came to a more resolved conclusion. 


September. We visited downtown San Diego with Scott's mom and dad and had a visit from his sister, too. I found out some sad news about the health of some of our family and friends. I try not to think of life as fair or not, but just as 'it is what it is' and we aren't supposed to have answers to all of our hows and whys yet; but even then, I still took long walks at night to sort through some of the anger, fear and vulnerability I felt. 


October. More thoughts on writing and the death of two loved ones came just as we found out we were going to be parents. I started a new series called Foreign Food Friday, right before morning sickness set in and I only ate yogurt. 


November. I drew some sketches to try to illustrate how to duck-dive and we went camping with old friends in Santa Cruz just before Thanksgiving


December. Sprout came on board, I wrote some letters to him or her and now here I am, doing this recap. 

Sometimes, when I look back on it all, my mind goes straight to all the things I'd like to do differently next year.

I guess at the end of it all, it's just like I said in the beginning: Life is good because of big, amazing things like sleeping outside in the forest in Oregon, starting new careers, saying goodbye to loved ones, raising babies, and also because of ridiculous little things like trying to learn how the heck to cut a bagel evenly down the middle. I think life is good because you want more. Happy New Year! 


"For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."
-T.S. Eliot

11 comments:

  1. What a wonderful recap, I think I read every one of your posts in 2014, so I remember your adventures well. The pelican photos are beautiful. I'm glad you had a good year, and I'm wishing you and Scott every happiness in 2015. Your biggest adventure yet I think, it's going to be so very exciting. With love, CJ xx

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  2. What a great 2014!!! I've been so MIA with blogging and reading and I missed the BIG news!! Congratulations I am so over the moon excited for you!!!! 2015 is going to be the best year yet (my resolution, at least one is to be more positive, so I'm starting early!!!) :) oxox Happy New Year!

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  3. I love this post. I love the things you get to do. I love your blog.

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  4. Happy New Year, Dev, and cheers to our babies in 2015!

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  5. Happy New Year!! You have a big year ahead, can't wait to read all about it :)

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  6. Your pictures are so magazine worthy...
    Happy New Year my friend!

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  7. I'm so glad I caught this post of yours because I did not know your news yet!!! YAY! Going back to read about it! XO

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  8. What a wonderful year! I know what you mean about wanting time to speed up, but also freeze. 2015 is sure to be even better! Happy New Year, friend!!

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  9. What an amazing year, Devon! It is great to look back at the photos and remember the great posts you wrote. Here is to another awesome year-- this time with an added bundle of joy!

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  10. An amazing year if you ask me! And your photos are oh so beautiful!

    xo

    Michaela

    http://michaelajeanblog.com

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  11. Wow! What an incredible year. Some hard moments for sure, but also so many great ones. I hope your 2015 is even better! :)

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