Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Kilts, Kippas, Sisters (advice on not giving advice)


Monday June, 9th 2014

We are back from another wedding and I am still in bed. I told Scott on our way home that I seem to have a limited supply of social energy available and that weddings use it all up. 

The sun appears to be taking as long lately to emerge from the clouds as I have been, so I don't feel as bad. 

The last time we drove up to Ventura I almost had to pee in a cup in the car on the freeway. On this drive Scott caught me hugging my stuffed dragon to my face while shedding a tear because Dragy is so dear to me. Scott pounded the steering wheel as he laughed about it. I laughed too. At how ridiculous life can be. 

Other things happened between one drive and the other. Some you might expect--me trying to skateboard over a tree-lifted-sidewalk and scraping both my hands before we left; and some you might not--a beautiful wedding where men wore both kilts and yamakas, an even more beautiful bride (Lisa!), a delicious vegetarian option (mushroom raviolis) and my youngest sister-in-law and I spending all night at each other's sides drinking whiskey, talking about boys and inappropriate wedding attire and dancing traditional Scottish and Jewish dances.

On the way home on Sunday, Scott and I stopped at a Mexican restaurant on Wilshire Blvd. to meet his childhood friend for dinner.

Mike is one of those people you can tell just about anything to. And I did. I told him how, after recent disagreements with one of my sisters, my mom advised me to behave more like a friend than an older sibling. She said she went through something similar as a mother. That at some point you have to let go and allow a person to make their own mistakes, even if it hurts to watch. She said becoming a listener instead of an advisor can feel like getting laid off from your job without warning. But that, that's what's meant to happen.

Mike is a good listener, and I am always thankful for people you feel you can easily have real conversations with. He had his own stories about life, but of course, those are his.

The trip was all at once exhausting and refreshing and I realized that being a good listener and a friend to somebody is sometimes the best thing you can be. 


(these are almost completely unrelated photos from camping with Lisa, the bride, last year. We forgot our camera for the wedding. Again! (except we were too far to go back this time) Congrats Lisa and Scott!

7 comments:

  1. Gorgeous photos and great advice about being a listener rather than an advisor; I've made a mental note of that for another day :) x

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    1. ...oops, I guess I'm still giving advice...about not giving advice! oy

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  2. I feel the same way about my social energy!! I'm great...for a limited amount of time and then I need my alone time:) Sometimes it's hard to just listen when you want to give advice, and it's definitely something I struggle with to. I always appreciate your advice, though:)

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    1. the unmistakable way of the introvert. also, thank you :) I guess we all like to give our opinion. I just need to remind myself that there are times when it isn't necessary.

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  3. A Post-It note on the door saying "CAMERA". Seriously, I do it all the time for everything. It's the only way I can remember sometimes. I'm glad you had a good trip, but I know what you mean about needing some quiet time afterwards, I'm the same. Have you ever done the Meyers Briggs personality test? I did it recently and I found it quite revealing. Sometimes I have so much going on in my head I go quiet and withdraw. I didn't really realise that fully until I saw it explained. Anyway, if you have ten minutes, it's quite a fun thing to try. I heard about it on Helena La Petite's blog if you want to have a look. Hope you've recovered from your pavement fall. The boys are ALWAYS falling off their scooters and they're covered with bruises. Have a good weekend Devon, CJ xx

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    1. Is there a link to that test online? I've taken it before, and I'm sure it said introvert, but I don't remember what else. Thanks for reminding me to check it out again. Do your boys wear padding? It's definitely kept me from some bruises. I am recovering from the fall, though. Thank you for asking! The effects are more on the mind now than anywhere else. Happy weekend CJ.

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    2. I've sent you an email about the test. Thanks for the tip about padding, it would definitely prevent some bruises I think.

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