Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Pieces of Peace



     On the way to Chicago I finally found some more of the peace I have been searching for. How this came to me on a plane of all places, is rather odd, but it did. I'm not terribly anxious about flying, but I do entertain a few worries associated with being airborne I consider rather rational. Anyways, maybe it had to do with being forced to do nothing but sit there and reflect and read; maybe it had to do with surrendering control over my life to someone else. When you consider the fact that I totally believe in God, it seems silly that I don't forgo this control more often. Either way, I felt free up there and this feeling stuck with me throughout the weekend. Aside from a bout of anxiety that seemed to sneak into my pillowcase last night and keep me awake, I am feeling more relaxed lately when it comes to dealing with what comes my way. 

    On a walk on the second day of the trip I confessed to my friends Basia and Kate that even though this summer has been jam packed, I have still managed to feel rather lonely. I typically attribute this to some personal weakness, but it felt good to talk about nevertheless. This is not to say that Scott hasn't been there for me in anyway possible. I think he spends more time trying to make sure that everything is fine with me than he does with anything else. That guy is something else and I still have trouble understanding how he manages to be so selfless at nearly all times. My mom's another person I find never-ending comfort in. How she isn't sick of hearing about my every thought by now is beyond my understanding. Even with all of this support, and the constant love of family I am ever-thankful for and couldn't probably function without, I still have been confused about a few of my own feelings lately. It felt so good to see my friends this weekend in Chicago for Nell's wedding; it felt like cuddling a comfort blanket that automatically makes everything in life seem less heavy. 

    As far as weddings go, Nell's was just what you'd want. I honestly haven't been to a wedding I haven't liked. Maybe this means I don't have a very discerning pallet when it comes to these of celebrations of love, but I think that the reason is, when it comes to people you love making a promise to each other forever, there can be nothing but happiness and good vibes surrounding the occasion. The dancing and music were great, the fireworks were awesome and they even had a 'smores station (with the option of adding Reece's peanut butter cups to them!). Nell looked so happy with her new husband Keelan, who I am happy to say I definitely trust with my friend's heart.

     One of the nights I actually got kicked out of the hotel bar. When I mentioned this in a text to Kate the next morning, she replied "it must be pretty hard to get kicked out of a bar in the hotel you are staying...". Actually, all you have to do is not wear your shoes (and be a little sassy about it). It's good to be back home and barefoot, but I really do hope a reunion with my best friends won't be too far off. I've always known I need them, but I really see now how they are a part of who I am. They are a part of this puzzle that makes up my life. Without them, there would undoubtably be missing pieces (and missing peace :). 

p.s. did you see Scott cut his hair? Your suggestions were either really funny or very useful. 
p.p.s. If you read this, or read this blog: thanks. thanks bunches and tons. thanks for being there for me, listening to me and being friends. I consider you guys a part of this puzzle of my life too. 

26 comments:

  1. glad that you found the peace. sometimes i feel that too, alone in a crowded room. and sometimes i feel like 'i don't belong here. why the hell am i going here again?' kind of thing. meh.

    glad that scott's hair NOT mullet. haha,,
    well, that's definitely a story you won't forget - getting kicked out for not wearing shoes.. i was kicked out from a jet coaster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, I definitely put a kabosh on any plans for a mullet! You do belong here. I know you know that, I just wanted to say it :)

      Delete
  2. So glad that you found peace and were able to look at your summer with some perspective and the help of friends. I think I need to do this too. Although maybe without the flight to Chicago. I am quite a quiet person who thinks internally about things a lot, and I think it is easy to feel a bit lonely at times if you have this habit. Scott's hair looks great! And you both scrub up very nicely, shoes or no shoes. (Not sure if this expression will be lost in translation - I mean you looked lovely!) Hope you have a good week Devon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's interesting that you point out it is perhaps natural to feel lonely at times if you are the introspective/introvert type. I never really thought about it like that. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this feeling! Friends help. Friends definitely help!

      Delete
  3. Sometimes, it's the little get-aways that help the most ;)
    and thumbs up to Scott's new do!
    ps
    I could never say I've been kicked out of a bar - you MUST have been showing your sassy side!!
    funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the sassy side of me is usually always out in bars. It doesn't always work in my favor :) I agree about the getaways!

      Delete
  4. I myself have been attacked with more unusual anxiety (for myself) this summer, but we have to remember that feelings of anxiety and discouragement are never from the Lord, they're from the enemy, and you can rebuke them! I think we'll always have a little bit of loneliness this side of heaven, because we're not physically in our Lord's presence yet the way we will be there, and this world is not our home. Nothing can truly fill us and no one can truly fully know us except Him. So, I think that's natural. I also feel like I've been searching for peace as well. So much so that I'm contemplating moving! And trying to search my heart, too, to make sure I'm not running away from something or ignoring things I need to work through. A couple different friends have mentioned the chapters on the spiritual discipline of solitude from two separate books both being deeply impacting for them - one, The Celebration of Discipline, and the other, Sacred Chaos. I haven't read them yet, but I have a feeling the search for peace has something to do with that solitude.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Although I love it here on earth tons and tons, I agree that this probably isn't the same thing as "heaven". A little solitude always seems to do me some good. Hope you feel less anxious in the near future too!

      Delete
  5. Beautiful photos!!! What better way to eliminate loneliness than to celebrate love, friendship, and nature all in one weekend? Sometimes the perfect weekend getaway is all you really need; the best ones are those that keep you grounded and refreshed.

    ♥ Chymere A.
    www.chymere-anais.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never expect to find as much nature as I usually end up finding in cities. It's always a pleasant surprise.

      Delete
  6. I think it is so interesting how so many more of us is seeking peace in their life. Times are difficult and life just seems to fly by sometimes. It is nice to stop and smell the roses once in a while. The more we look internally the more we realize how precious we are and that being human does not mean always having all of the answers to all of the questions. Some questions just answer themselves...particularly when we go with the flow.Have a great week!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree. I read more and more about people trying to be present all the time. I guess it's nice that we all just wish to savor life a little more. I like what you said about the questions answering themselves. So true. :)

      Delete
  7. Always there for you Little Surfer (your new nickname), your welcome :) I am glad this trip was a bit of a breather for you and just what you needed! I love when things just click inside, and bring peace. Oh, and her dress is beautiful! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really don't totally have a nickname so I'll take it! Thanks Sheila :) I loved her dress too! Isn't it elegant? I love when things click too. Definitely a feeling I look forward to!

      Delete
  8. you were in my town!! what a fun weekend and wedding :)

    great photos,as always!!

    love that you found some more peace!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I missed out on the deep dish pizza this time and seeing you, unfortunately, but Chicago has always shown me a good time.

      Delete
  9. Yes, I noticed Scott haircut......very nice.

    I'm off to my 20 yr university union in a few weeks, my friends from that time are very important to me, so make sure to keep them close, even if they live far away....


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's nice to hear you've been able to keep in touch with them and stay close after 20 years. That's inspiring and encouraging. Have fun and your reunion Wendy! xo

      Delete
  10. Hey Devon! I love this post, and can totally relate to a few things you wrote, love your writing as always!

    Kari

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kari. There's something super weird about writing about your life on the internet, even though I love it. Thanks for the encouragement!

      Delete
  11. First off you look gorgeous in red...second I'm so glad you were able to feel like some of those pieces were put back together for you while you were gone! Looks like a lovely wedding!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You look absolutely gorgeous, as did the bride!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sounds like you guys had a great time, and you look absolutely gorgeous! I love that red dress! Scott's hair looks pretty good, too:) Your writing always speaks to me. I really think we're kindred spirits--I just need to find my way to the ocean. I can totally relate to how you can feel lonely while still being really busy and around a lot of people. Being in large groups is sometimes when I feel the loneliest. I've always been the type of person who likes one on one interactions more than being in a big group. I like the feeling of connecting and not just having inane conversations about the weather. I'm sure it was really nice being around your friends. It's always so awesome to be with people who get you and getting to talk to them in person. You getting kicked out of a bar sounds hilarious! What do they expect in a hotel bar? You're staying there, so why do you need shoes? Did they have a sign that said "No shoes, no shirt, no service"? If not, you've got a sweet lawsuit on your hands, my friend:) Hope you're having an awesome day!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Amazing pictures as always!!!! NELL LOOKS BEAUTIFUL OMG. I love Scott's haircut too! Glad you had a great trip :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey Devon, I didnt realise you believed in God (shall I risk saying Christian).. I'm always uncertain about how much to share or how blunt to be about my beliefs but you kind of hit the nail on the head, I walk around feeling heavier and heavier carrying everything myself instead of putting it in his hands. Looks like an amazing trip!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love your red dress and Scott's hair looks great!

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you! I try to reply within the comment form.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...