Friday, May 18, 2012

You Win Some...

I don't know how long it took me to realize that I didn't win. 
      When I couldn't sleep anymore I wandered into the living room around 5am, the day the Roxy contest finalists would be announced. I turned on my computer, clicked the Roxy website and found the link to the contest. "Finalists" was written across a red button. I'm not even sure I was breathing when I clicked it. I've ridden for Roxy for the last three years, but I wanted to win this contest so I could travel to France with them and work more closely with the team.
     I scrolled over the videos with cloudy morning eyes. At first glance I didn't see my video. I studied each one to make sure I didn't miss it. This part was sad. I got to the bottom and none of them seemed to be mine. For good measure, I did a search on the page for my name. There were no matches. This part was sadder. I turned off the bright computer screen and walked back into my room. I crawled carefully into bed so as not to awaken Scott. I lay there for a few moments. I think this was when the realization really hit me: I didn't win. I didn't advance. I wouldn't go to France or the surprise trip with the team. 
     I let myself use all those excuses I had conjured up for this exact scenario sometime after I entered the contest. I'm a planner, after all. And there they were, swirling around my head. It was a good experience. Not getting what you want builds character (thank you for that advice, Bridget). It was so nice to have the support of all of those who care about me. At least I'm still sponsored by Roxy. I'll go on a surf trip to France some other time. 
    Sometime during all of this reasoning I started crying and sometime after that Scott woke up. I almost felt bad about this, but I needed him in this moment. I know, it's just a silly contest. I've entered many before and this was the usual result. I don't say that so you will feel bad for me. I feel like I am lucky blessed enough in this life already. This is simply how life goes. You win some, you don't win others. You have to go for it in any way you can, always with the hope in mind that something great might come out of taking that risk. If you don't win, you can grow from the experience, if you allow yourself to. My friend Roberta told me the other day "Even if you don't win, it doesn't mean you lost." I really believe that's true. Since the first day I entered this contest quit my job I felt this voice telling me something good will come of this. And so many good things already have come out of me following my dreams. Mostly, the realization that I have the audacity to do just that. 
   The sun started to rise and more and more birds began to chirp. This day was moving on, now so should I. I got up to find my notebook in the living room. With my number two pencil in hand I began to write because it has always made me feel better. And it did. 
     Following that, I drafted up a quick email to Roxy, while Scott sipped cereal milk in the background, submitting my wave watching tips to them for their blog. I don't know what it will take, if anything, to get me off track on my quest for my dreams, but this wasn't it. I will keep representing their brand the best way I know how because I feel so passionately about what they offer and represent. I feel very blessed to be tied a company that has such significance in the history of women's surfing. True, I won't be traveling around with them this summer, but I will make the best of what I have here at home.
     Thank you to anyone out there who has helped me on my journey. Your support is part of the good that came out of this. 

p.s. on to the next thing! I'm off to SF this weekend. How about you?
p.p.s. now I will have the chance to vote for the other contestants haha :). In reference to this

13 comments:

  1. i love that you put yourself out there. that is one thing that is difficult for me. good work and keep trying!

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  2. I am so sorry and I know how you feel! My boyfriend always told me something and I was always like "shut up, you think you know everything!". He says that hard work always pays off and maybe not this time or next time, but it will. And that recently came true for me and I know it will come true for you. Maybe you didn't get this because something AMAZING is going to happen to you this summer that wouldn't otherwise happen had you been in France. I know there are amazing things in your future and I hope you have an amazing weekend!

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  3. i'm sorry you didn't win :/ but i'm glad that you are taking it in such a good way! ps; your bathing suit top is the cutest thing ever! Pink really is your color :)

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear you didn't win, but I love what your friend said. "Even if you don't win, it doesn't mean you lost." That is great advice and I hope to remember that the next time I'm upset because I didn't get something I really wanted. I'm sure there are many more things on the horizon for you. :)

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  5. I shed a tear reading this blog post, but true to your personality you have certainly learned from it and will prevail. As I was voting, I kept thinking ... "surely Danielle will win". My heart breaks for this ... but I know God is opening up something even bigger and better for you! xxoo

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  6. I know that kind of disappointment can sting, but you definitely didn't LOSE. There are so many of us behind you and who support you, even if we are not surfers! It just means that there is something else out there for you. As fun as it would be, now is was not the right time. Everything in it's time, babe!

    Have a great time in SF!

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  7. Lovely post, Devon. Keep following your dreams - you are right. Something good always comes from following your dreams. When one door closes, something else opens...we just need to look for it because it sometimes appears in a different form. Keep going, this is just the beginning for you :)

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  8. booooo... you should have won!! i'm sorry devon :(

    but have a great time in san francisco! give it a kiss more :)

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  9. I'm sure your dreams will come true someday! I hope from my whole heart that you can follow your dreams and travel & surf. Would have been great to have you in France!

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  10. i'm sorry! you will do it soon!!

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  11. Awww, Dev, I'm sad that you didn't win :( You really deserved it and you beautifully exemplify the Roxy brand. I also appreciate what a risk it is to put yourself out there in such a public way. I'm glad you got so much support and that you'll keep following your dream no matter what :)

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  12. you are actually one step closer than you were before...good work..
    i showed my two daughters this post
    to remind them about how hard the journey can be..

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  13. I cannot even find the words to say how much I loved this post. I have put myself out there SO many times and ended with the same result. But it never stopped me. And that's what makes the journey worth while.

    I'm so happy that this didn't deter you from your dreams because I know something even bigger awaits you.

    - ashley

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