I was in a bit of a funk at certain points this weekend and I don't know why. That's not true, I know it's because I found out my Great Aunt Jody has cancer. She's 83 and sometimes when I think about people in that age group my first thought is-they're lucky to have made it that far, because my nonny died when she was 72 and my poppy at 65, and my Grandma Jo at 57 (things I only remember when I'm not pretending to forget). Well, anyways, this is something I used to think about 80 plus year olds with diseases, but now I feel heart sick about Aunt Jody.
I'm writing all these ramblings in my backyard on a Sunday as I sit on our indo balance board and sway back and forth in the last hours of sunlight, reflecting on our weekend. It's not like I was sad all weekend, just acutely aware of mortality and change and endings.
It was probably for the better though, since I really paid extra attention to the wonderful qualities of the ones I loved while we spent time together this weekend. For instance, my dad gets so excited about projects. After I told him about this idea I had to "surf ourselves through the decades" by riding different boards from every era of surfing, he downloaded every old surf movie Netflix had. I love that. We spent all Friday evening watching them.
On Saturday, we went to Kevin's house for dinner. He is my dad's best friend, but I feel he is one of mine too. Kevin really enjoys cooking for friends. My dad told me he had been preparing some of the food since Thursday night! It was delicious, especially because you could tell how much love had gone into it.
At the dinner party, I noticed how appreciative Scott is. He approaches all situations with gratitude. I hope I'm learning from his ways.
On Sunday, my mom came home from a sorority reunion. She got back in time to see our last waves before we finished surfing. As we came up from the beach, she complimented all of us on our rides. She really loves making others feel good.
By mid-Sunday I was missing my sisters and my friends. Two of my friends from college, Nell and Nicole, got engaged. As happy as I was for them I couldn't help feeling a twinge of sadness that I wasn't with them to celebrate. Scott helped this situation by giving me a plane ticket up to see one of them for Bay to Breakers in San Francisco.
That was basically our weekend. Now the sun has gone behind our house and the backyard is wearing a shadow. Somewhere deep down I wish my mom was inside cooking chicken, even though I'm a vegetarian. And in this moment I realize that this weekend was really about feeling very alive.