It's 5am here. No, actually now it's 5:47am, but I woke up at 5am after Scott accidentally kneed me in the butt in bed, awakening me and allowing me to realize how badly I really had to go to the bathroom. After that, my mind was too awake to go back to sleep and began to wander. First, I began to think about Easter and Jesus, since it is Easter now. We watched the Passion of the Christ last night and that movie had so many horrifying images I can't believe I ever fell asleep in the first place. Then, I thought about how grateful I am for God's sacrifice and how crazy this world really is, knowing full and well that I will never understand it. I thought about how thankful I am for what I have and then after that, I went back to more shallow thoughts like how I come across in the blogging world and who my readers think I am.
On Friday I was in a sponsor feature on another blog and it was a great feature, don't get me wrong, I mean who doesn't want to be complimented, but I began to realize how Scott and I frequently get portrayed as this hot surf couple. I was so homely (and lonely) in high school that the idea of me being at all attractive still sort of shocks me. I feel very flattered and print and cherish those features, but my greatest hope for this blog is that people can see me as I really am. I want you to hear my thoughts and concerns, passions and dreams, and in the best case scenario, find something about me that resonates with you. If you really do see this blog as a place about two flawless people, something we are anything but (especially me), then it's my fault and I want to change that.
It's an odd thought to put unattractive images of yourself out for people to see, and I guess somewhere deep down I have hoped that some surf sponsor will see us on this blog and think we are "the perfect surf couple to send on this epic surf safari/feature in our magazine/be in our TV show" (very unrealistic, I know, but I told you this place is about dreams). I try to be optimistic and I love the idea of sharing surf stories that allow readers to escape, which is what surfing does for me, but as I sit here at 5:58 am on Easter Sunday in my favorite red robe my grandmother gave me before she died, I want to make sure that at all times you know who I really am.
So here I am...
I love to write. I started to love writing in 6th grade because it was the first thing I was any good at in school. I continue to do it because I feel a need to document how I feel and what goes on around me. I want to have a record of our life together and the crazy adventures we've been on that have allowed us to discover more of who Scott and I are as individuals and as a couple. I want my family and friends to see how much they mean to me. I hope that God knows how thankful I really am (not that he like reads my blog). I want to share how passionate I am about surfing and nature and how they free me.
I want this blog to make me a better writer and a better person.
I want to get to know other people on a deeper level and learn about their thoughts, concerns, passions and dreams.
Ok, that's all for now.
I hope this post gives you an idea of who I am at 5am, but I hope this blog will show you who I am as person and what it means to me to live (that's a bit dramatic isn't it? well, I can be that sometimes too).
Happy Easter and Passover!