Sunday, December 20, 2009

Peru-The Lessons of Fear Chapter 1: Self-Reliance

    I couldn’t show her or I knew I would cry. Scott’s gesture was so romantic and sweet I wanted to share it with someone, but I couldn’t even bring myself to open it or look at his perfect unmistakable writing. I didn’t want to cry in front of people I was just getting to know. It would reveal the vulnerability I felt inside. Leaving behind Scott was like leaving behind my most cherished comfort item. I felt unsure and uncomfortable, but I knew this was something I needed to do. It was the right time. It was the right trip.
      You thought I forgot.
The outside of the note read. How could I ever think that? He would never miss an opportunity to show me how much he loved me.
   This trip is important for me, though, I could feel that before I even left. I needed to go. Away from Scott and my family I was on my own. I would need to rely on myself and in doing so I would grow.  
     Usually, when I traveled Scott or my mom or dad would take care of printing the tickets, organizing the boarding passes, arranging transportation or dealing with the officials. I just showed up with our share of sunscreen, bug spray, vitamins, medicine, and snacks. Not to mention moral support and a smile. This time I was responsible for it all and that intimidated me. 
    As I sat next to Roberta on the plane ride to Peru and opened my journal, his note had fallen onto my lap.  
       This was much better than socks, I thought with a smile. 

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